Choices" and "Waiting in Vain"
by aces
Summary: This is a short story AND a poem that...kinda...relate.


This story is based entirely on one scene from the '96 movie, the good-bye scene between the Doctor and Grace. I just rewatched it for the first time in a loooong while, and it was great fun to find stuff I'd missed before. Anyway, really, the only things I have to say are the usual: I don't own any of this, and I make no profit from it, and I'm just a poor, struggling college student who never has anything happen to her…which means I don't need to be sued either. ;-)

**__**

Choices

_I could've gone back._

He turned on his heel slowly and walked away, up the steps, to the TARDIS. He almost opened the doors, but something stopped him. He turned around, took a step back from the old girl, looked back at her for a long, considering moment.

_I could've gone back._

He hesitated. She waved at him, awkwardly, an aborted movement, as if she had wanted to do something more. A wry, almost-smile flickered on his face as he looked at her one last time, seeing the whole of San Francisco out of the corner of his eye around her.

Tempting.

But no.

Just like Grace, he knew who he was.

He turned back to his home and entered it without looking back again.

The TARDIS disappeared.

* * * 

_He could've come back.  
_I watched him walk away, actually shocked he was leaving. That wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to go. Any fool knew what the happy ending entailed.

He was supposed to stay.

He bounded up the steps with all his enthusiasm and energy, enthusiasm and energy I'd already learned to love, and he almost opened the TARDIS doors.

But he paused.

And he turned away, turned back to me, stepping away from the TARDIS.

My heart beat faster, hope making my heart ache. I raised my hand, waving a little, wanting to call out, wanting to shout at him, _Doctor! Come back! Stay with me!_

He smiled a little, acknowledging the good-bye, and turned away from me again.

I took a step back, stung. I didn't want him to leave. After all I'd gone through in the past day (_was it only a day? Or was it two?_), after all that had happened, I couldn't imagine things ever being normal again. And I didn't want to imagine life without him.

But I knew he couldn't come back. I knew he couldn't stay. He didn't belong here, anymore than he belonged anywhere else. I knew it with a certainty that made my head ache. After all, he was the guy with two hearts. There was too much life in him for just one planet. And one person.

_He should've come back._

I heard that strange, straining sound and stared as the blue police box disappeared. I heaved a deep breath and watched until it was completely gone, and still I stayed there, long after the fireworks had stopped lighting up the sky, long after I should have gone home to sleep or found a party to get sloshed. I stood there, remembering a kiss, and a night running through a park, and a motorcycle ride, and dropping slowly to land on a police car, and a secret, and taking the gun from his hands, and feeling his two hearts, hearing them beat, holding onto him tightly as we flew down a highway.

I knew I would never see him again.

I missed him already. An ache had settled in my chest, like having a constant heart attack. I knew he wouldn't come back, but still I waited.

Finally, I had to leave. I turned, walked, stumbled away, my ears still pricked up in case I heard the TARDIS rematerialize.

But there was nothing, as I had known there would be.

_Why didn't he come back?_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This poem has nothing to do with the above story, except in theme and that it is _Doctor Who_-related. And yes, I wrote it, a few years ago, so be kind please. 

Waiting in Vain

She spends all her time dreaming,

fantasizing about the day all the books she's read

and all the movies she's seen will come true,

waiting for reality to become fantasy.

She thinks and plans and wishes

for changes, for an exciting life

of danger and adventure and saving the world.

She wants to be somebody else.

She's waiting for the castles

and the dark and handsome strangers

and starships and police boxes

and ghosts and knights in shining armor.

I'm waiting for reality to sink in

and make her realize 

she's waiting in vain.


End file.
